In my wintermester class we talked about the issue of gender roles and stereotypes. I always find this to be an intriguing subject for discussion. I, myself, grew up as a tomboy and I also grew up in a family that had very non-traditional gender roles. So, enjoy the following...
On Being a TomboyBack in the days, children who liked to dabble in the gender roles of the opposite sex were often considered to have some sort of pathology. “They’re sick in the head,” or “They must have had a brain injury or birth defect or something.” And, what’s more, they were often considered to be gay or lesbian or destined for one of the two labels, as they grew older. It’s nice to see that times have changed a lot since then, well, for girls that is.
“Girly” Things = B-O-R-I-N-GUntil about the age of 12 or 13, I was very unique from my female peers as far as interests were concerned. While the other girls in my classes were experimenting with makeup and “training bras,” or collecting their Barbie and Kens, I was experimenting with the Pittsburgh Pirates, card collecting, bike jumping, roof climbing, and Ninja Turtle buying. Those things, in my eyes, were much more mind-stimulating than the aforementioned. I couldn’t understand why any girl would prefer a Barbie to a G.I. Joe – after all, one could bend Joe’s legs and arms any which way they pleased (thanks to the internal rubber bands), but one couldn’t bend Barbie’s legs or arms at all. She was as useful as a stiff. Also, a big kudos to the Ninja Turtles – my life wouldn’t have been the same without them.
Pink = Hell No! Another big “girly” thing was, and obviously is, the color pink. My mom knew good and well not to buy me anything that was pink because either (a) it would be going back to the store or (b) it would be going to Goodwill. I don’t know what it was about “pink” that made me despise it so. Maybe I felt that it symbolized some sort of weakness – especially in the eyes of my male friends, whom I was always in competition with – whether it was sports, a subject, or whatever. Nowadays, I actually enjoy the color pink! Odd? Hmm.
Boyfriends = Better than GirlfriendsMost of my close friends back in those days were boys (of course, I did always have a healthy number for friends who were girls, too). Girls were whiney little babies whose only cares were pink and vanity. Of course that was a terrible stereotype, I think a lot of former tomboys out there could probably relate to me on this one. The guys just seemed to fit my interests better as far as sports, toys, and even TV shows were concerned. Plus, one of my boyfriends was always jealous of the fitted Pittsburgh Pirates cap I always wore!
Revealing Clothing = No Way!First of all, little girls should NOT wear any kind of clothing that relates to the word “revealing.” However, there were some girls that would wear v-neck blouses or oval-shaped neck tops. Those were not for me. It was always a t-shirt (and jeans) and nothing that showed too much of my lower neck or chest area. For some reason I didn’t like this and, I suppose, I still don’t care much for low-cut tops and any other such thing. Makes me feel naked for some reason. Also, no dresses or leotards – I especially considered leotards to be revealing – too tight, showing too much of the figure.
On Boys Who Like Girls StuffI am not really sure what the term is for boys who like to dabble in the interests and roles of girls (well, I know the term “sissy,” but that’s not good). Whatever the case, there really hasn’t been much progress as far as liberal thinking is concerned in this area. Nowadays it is okay for girls to like boys toys and games much more than their own, yet if a boy wishes to “throw a tea party” or wear a dress (a “pink” one, be it), most people (I would think) would think there was something seriously wrong with the boy. This is really sad.
The other night I was watching the show “20/20” about this woman who decided to live as a man for two years, in order to see what it was like to live in a man’s world, and then wrote a book about her experience (which sounds like a good book!). On the show she made some striking comments. She said that women, in general, really have no clue as to what it’s like to be a man. She said it is not any easier to be a man than it is to be a woman. A reason? In her experiment, she found that male-to-male friendships have little, if almost non-existent, emotional expressivities, unlike female-to-female friendships. It’s a very cold world with few people around to “vent” to. By the time a male reaches adulthood, she says, he has typically had all forms of meaningful emotional expressivities beaten out of him by society. It’s “inappropriate” for boys to cry; to be sissies. It’s more appropriate to turn it into anger. Well, I have always heard this but I really just wanted to reiterate how true I think this probably is – how sad I think this is.
What do you think about all this?
