My Painting

I painted this on Windows Paint a while back. Kinda cool huh!

Dear Mom

I could have been the stylish child

of Princess Di or Madonna the wild.

The daughter of a dried up prom queen,

or even some lady that was horribly mean.

I could have been born in another year

to a lady who would've never shed a tear.

Maybe to a witch in the Salem trials,

or a beggar who begged for many miles.

But God already had it in his plans

for me to be one of your biggest fans.

Thank you for being the greatest mother,

I wouldn't live again to have any other.

by. Holly

DEPRESSION

Depression. It seems like such an overplayed topic these days (especially all those Zoloft commercials on tv with that little depressed ball of goo). What's worse these days is when you actually have it. I have struggled with it off and on for years - taking medications, working to change my frame of mind, and seeking advice from The Bible. It seems like no matter what precautions I take, it always has a way of making its way back into my life. Why can't it just be love? or fortune? Why depression?

Although we may hear a lot about depression these days, I think it is an unwritten rule in society that those struggling with depression are to keep it on the down low. "People have their own problems to worry about," or "There just isn't enough time to have to deal with the sick at heart." Still, even, when I get depressed it is hard for me to really talk to someone about it. I know there are friends out there who love me and would gladly talk to me but I think, "Why take away their good mood to burden them with my own faults?" It doesn't quite seem fair to do that to someone.

Empty. Alone. Sad. Those are just a few ways depression makes one feel. I've realized these feelings have a way of changing ones entire world view and pattern of thinking. When the feelings are finally gone, I think to myself "Who was I and where do I begin again?" It's hard to get back to "normal" - even harder to worry about "it" not coming back.

I think one of the reasons I am going to make a good mental health counselor is because I have been in those clients shoes. I may not have been exactly where they are but I know what it's like to feel like you're losing it. I don't care what my profession's code of ethics says about contact - if my clients need a shoulder to cry on then they can certainly have mine. Indeed, I have made some of my best friends in life by simply allowing them to cry on my shoulder (and vice versa). The power of learning that just one person out there cares really makes all the difference in the world; but you can't expect them to know something's bothering you either. Not everyone can tell when you are down. You just have to seek reassurance from them and remind yourself from time to time that they do care and that there's a reason to care about your ownself as well.

In conclusion, if you are reading this and you are easily depressed, don't hold it all in (it never really helps much, in my opinion). Instead, seek out someone who you know will care and who is willing to listen and, as the R.E.M. song Everybody Hurts states, "take comfort in your friends" - listen to their love. This is the best medicine of all!

- Holly

El Shaddai

El Shaddai

El Shaddai, El Shaddai,

El-Elyon na Adonia,

Age to age You're still the same,

By the power of the name.

El Shaddai, El Shaddai,

Erkamka na Adonai,

We will praise and lift You high,

El Shaddai.

Through your love and through the ram,

You saved the son of Abraham;

Through the power of your hand,

Turned the sea into dry land.

To the outcast on her knees,

You were the God who really sees,

And by Your might,

You set Your children free.

El Shaddai, El Shaddai,

El-Elyon na Adonia,

Age to age You're still the same,

By the power of the name.

El Shaddai, El Shaddai,

Erkamka na Adonai,

We will praise and lift You high,

El Shaddai.

Through the years You've made it clear,

That the time of Christ was near,

Though the people couldn't see

What Messiah ought to be.

Though Your Word contained the plan,

They just could not understand

Your most awesome work was done

Through the frailty of Your Son.

El Shaddai, El Shaddai,

El-Elyon na Adonai,

Age to age You're still the same,

By the power of the name.

El Shaddai, El Shaddai,

Erkamka na Adonai,

I will praise and lift You high,

El Shaddai.

El Shaddai, El Shaddai,

El-Elyon na Adonai,

Age to age You're still the same,

By the power of the name.

El Shaddai, El Shaddai,

Erkamka na Adonai,

I will praise you til I die,

El Shaddai.

Song by. Amy Grant

Ellie Likes to Worship

Ellie likes to worship with me. Hallelujah!

Ellie Does My Homework

Sometimes I make Ellie do my homework for me.

This is Ellie!

This is my puppy Ellie. She's a toy rat terrier.

Mom and Adam

Mom and my nephew Adam. Look for him in Proctor & Gamble ads as well!

Caleb

My nephew Caleb. Look for him in Proctor & Gamble ads (Huggies).

Sunset at Mom and Dad's

Sunset at Mom and Dad's house.

No "Perfect" Party

The more I learn about politics, the more I notice people who view them through rose-colored glasses. I am astonished at how many people seem to think there is one "perfect" political party out there. Such a concept is ludicrous in my eyes. We live in a diverse nation and for one to expect precise perfection baffles me -- it is difficult enough to strive for perfection among common belief systems let alone diverse ones! Although I tend to lean more toward being a democrat, there is really no perfect party. There are some things I like about rebublican values and some things I hate about democratic ones.

Republicans: Republicans are the "conservatives" of our nation's society. They typically strive to conserve our nation's "traditional" values (i.e., marriage between man and woman). They also believe in self-determination. In America's capitalist economy, they believe that each citizen of the United States of America is capable of becoming whatever it is they wish to become -- they can do this by means of obtaining higher education, personal profit, etc. However, my problem with these traditional notions, however great and dreamy they may seem, is that they fail to consider the negative effects that a capitalist/traditionalist economy can have on the underprivledged members of society. This idea of "conserving" traditional values leaves little room for the recovery of mistakes. Many children in today's society are being forced to suffer from the mistakes their parents made, or even that their grandparents made. Under republican rule, it seems that if you're born into poverty you're practically damned to poverty -- unless the government steps in which, generally, is better done by democrats. Republicans seem to have little pity for the impoverished -- blaming them for their mistakes and not the government. Granted, many are responsible yet -- what about those small business owners in my hometown of Cleburne, TX who were forced to file for bankruptcy when Sam Walton's mega-billion dollar corporation, Walmart (specifically Super Walmart), came into town and shut them down? Who is to blame for the "mistakes" of these unfortunate small business owners? How many more sanctions are the republicans going to give to these overpowering corporations without providing relief to these small business owners? There are American citizens out there that our economy actively and naturally works against, no matter how hard they may work to just survive. Yet republican politicians, still, have little sympathy for people like this -- providing little aide in the area of human services. Then there are the democrats...

Democrats: A few years ago I truly resented these usually liberalistic individuals. I still resent many of the things they do: supporting a woman's right to choose (i.e., abortion). People -- if you have sex you'd better dang well know the consequences! Babies do come from sex and you'd better be able to deal with that. I have no sympathy, except for in instances of rape, for those who engage in sex and then expect to use abortion as a method of birth control. These women must suffer the consequences of their actions! What I do like about democrats is that they are willing to provide money to the human services to help the people I mentioned who the economy naturally works against. They realize that there are more poor people here and abroad then there are filthy rich ones. Many people hate democrats because they like to play "Robin Hood" - stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. Well, they don't "steal" but they do "provide" for the poor and disadvantaged. Democrats tend to be aware of the sometimes negative impacts of capitalism and the notion of "self-determinism". Instead of giving tax cuts to the rich, they want to provide tax cuts to the middle class -- the majority. Tax cuts to the rich sounds nice, but where do they spend that money? They don't readily put it back into the economy. Instead they tend to invest in these big corporations who are already filthy rich, as well as in personal pleasures such a Corvettes and Picasso's. How that is intended to help our economy just blows my mind. A pitfall to the democrats liberal ways are that people in our society are just, simply, not honest enough to make many of their plans work. Many of the rich despise the idea of welfare and they do so for good reasons. There are many people, right now, who are not in need of assistance who are blatantly abusing our welfare system. These people claim to be severely impoverished when, in reality, they are far from it -- they live off the tax payers money thus leaving the real needy in helpless and hopeless situations -- the rich not wanting to help liars -- not that the rich don't lie themselves (in fact, many rich persons have gotten there through deciet). I believe that America has a calling today to restore honesty in its society. If we can find a way to effectively do this, then we can eventually find a way to make the ways of the democratic party be the best (yet still not perfect) ways for the American people.

- Holly

Life's Precious Synergies

Have you ever spent your time encouraging someone even though they never did the same for you? Have you ever done a job that deserved a lot of thanks only to find it was a "thankless" effort? Well, I have and it stinks but that's the way the ball bounces sometimes. What I've learned is to expect the unexpected and that not all people are as thankful for you as others may be -- and that's okay.

One of my college professors at ACU said, "Most people are too busy thinking about themselves to really think too in depth about anyone else." On any given occasion people are thinking about things like their job, or how tired they are, or what they are going to wear the next day, etc. Teenagers are found to be very self-conscious. They tend to "think about what other's (i.e., their peers) are thinking" such as, "Oh, I know everyone notices what I wear every day," and/or "Everyone sees me and wants to be me". Ah teenage years -- how I don't miss those vain days! Though difficult, it is really a treasure to find someone who takes some of their time to think of you...

When someone thinks of me, and shows me they are thankful for me, I realize the importance of holding on to them (not physically, just ideologically) -- Why would anyone want to let something so rare like that slip through their fingers anyway? We each spend so much time thinking about and dealing with our own lives that, when we actually do take the time to think of someone else or someone else takes their time to think of us, it becomes a truly precious thing. Six billion people are in this world right now who can easily turn away from us, never taking the time to know or care for us, but then there are those few people, called friends or family, who inevitably cross our paths and lend us their open arms -- NEVER throw them away! They are as precious as a rare gem -- more better a find than gold.

- Holly