Sunday, November 30, 2008

"Soccer Player Dies During Game" Site Hits

Just an interesting observation:

I have a tracker on my blog telling me the general locations (e.g., city and country) of people who visit this site. If a visitor to my site has located my site via a search engine (e.g., Google) then this tracker will typically show the search words the visitor entered into the search engine that brought them to my site.

Interestingly, in the past few years, I have had literally hundreds of hits on my site by people from all over the world who are entering the search words "Soccer Player Dies During Game."

This search term brings them to this blog post of mine from 2006 which features the YouTube video of then 24 year old Hungarian soccer player, Miklos Feher, who collapsed on the field and died of a heart attack during a soccer game back in 2004.

It is obviously a very profound video. Very sad. Quite disturbing, actually. It makes me want to ask each individual who visits my site with this seach term the question, "What drew you to conduct this search?" I can imagine there would be an array of answers.

Interesting, indeed.

The Long Road (To Dry Hair)

Difficult times in life are, in a sense, like blowdrying one's hair. You've spent a great deal of your morning in the shower, preparing for another day. You get out of the shower and then subconsciously think to yourself, "I've still gotta blowdry my hair. Damn it, I absolutely hate blowdrying my hair!" But, deep down, you know you must do the deed (no, not THAT deed) if you are to do anything with your day.

Therefore, you pull out the dryer, flick it on, and sit there waving the thing back and forth over your head as if you're practicing to lead an orchestra. In the first few minutes, you feel as if you are never going to get through it. You've been blowdrying your hair, using all the motions you can think of - including bending over and flipping your hair (not quite the bend and snap) in a desperate blowdrying attempt - and yet your hair continues to be wet.

For a moment you begin to feel hopeless. You think - why? Why me? Why this freaking stupid thick hair? Then, suddenly, as if out of nowhere, you notice a little dry strand! A few more minutes pass and you notice it is even more dry. Finally, voila! You are done! Not only that, you know you think you look sexy and proceed to wink at yourself in the mirror!

In the end, all the shit you went through was worth it and you can finally see the end result. Do most people think this in-depth about the experience of blowdrying their hair? Probably not. In fact, one might argue that, on a much larger scale, people often forget to think that there is light (or dry hair) at the end of that long, long tunnell.

By. Holly H.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

I Stand

I stand outside your door and watch as others try to assist you. Your agitated behavior makes it very difficult for the staff to leave you alone. They must watch over you constantly so that you do not hurt yourself. A lady asks you what time it is - it's 4:00. She asks you if you know where 4:00 is on the clock. You raise your once strong but now rather weak arm and make an effort to point to the clock. Those who are watching you are desperately hoping you know where 4:00 is, but to be honest it's really hard to tell if you know for sure. They go on and tell you, "very good." Very good.

I stand inside your door and gaze upon the pictures of you which your loved ones have strung up around the room. There you were, before this happened to you. The smile on your face tells one you never could have predicted that you would be here, in this serious place, right now. Your young skin, your young wife, your young child - all forever changed. From your picture I can see you once wore an earring. The clothes you wore were rather stylish, too. Your personality must have been quite vibrant. One can only imagine you were once very happy. For now we can only hope that, perhaps one day, you and everyone else will be very happy again.

I stand outside your door again and listen to your mumbled cries, "Help me! Help me!"

I will do my very best.

Secret Images on Google Earth

Go to this link and check out this video (the poster doesn't give a link to where I could simply embed the video on this blog):

I thought it sounded a little fishy at first until I pulled up Google Earth (and regular Google Maps satellite imagery) myself and located the images. I also located some of them through TerraServer , another satellite imaging service.

Here are the coordiates for some of the images (you can look them up by typing in the coordinates on TerraServer):

37"37'41.16" N ; 116"50'54.22" W - Some suggest this symbol was placed by the Illuminati.

37"24'04.94" N ; 116"52'04.38" W - Interesting star.

19"56'56.40" S ; 69"38'01.40" W - Gigante de Atacama.

Here is what Wikipedia states about that last coordinate:

"The Atacama Giant (Spanish: Gigante de Atacama) is a large anthropomorphic geoglyph in the Atacama Desert, Chile.Located at "Cerro Unitas", this is the largest prehistoric anthropomorphic figure in the world with a height of 86 meters and represents a deity for the local inhabitants from 1000 to 1400 AD."


Sunday, August 10, 2008

Things On My Mind

I have been a medical social worker, in a large metropolitan county hospital, for about two years now. I have come to believe I have a rather bipolar relationship with my job. There are periods I go through in which I absolutely love what I do, and then there are other times when I play scenes in my mind of turning in my letter of resignation to my boss and saying #%@! it all. I don’t know if it’s being a social worker, or more specifically being a medical social worker, but sometimes I find some of what we do to be a little traumatic and I guess it is at those moments when the thoughts of “moving on” – or at least taking a vacation - come to mind.

Lately, I often find myself thinking of death. Don’t worry, not in that way. But, more so, in a somewhat traumatized manner. In my job, I work with a lot of trauma patients and a lot of patients whom are just really, really sick. I see people come in after car accidents who have become paralyzed, either partially or fully. One can see the worst of brain injuries from the craziest, or even simplest, of accidents. There are some people who come in with infections and end up getting an amputation of some sort. Then, there are those whom are actively dying of a terminal illness such as cancer or HIV whom we must speak w/ the person or their family about end of life choices. Your heart goes out to all these people. It can be a lot to take in sometimes.

To elaborate on things, I suppose this experience has made me a little more aware of just how fragile life and this capsule – called the human body – really is. I’m now a little more careful day to day and a lot more afraid each day of losing someone I love. With myself, for instance, I try to be a more vigilant driver. Also, a while back I nearly slipped and fell backwards on this disgusting puddle of sludge on the sidewalk in front of my condo. The next day, I called the office and spoke with the property manager and asked them to please clean up the sludge as it was an accident waiting to happen (in my mind I was thinking it was a traumatic brain injury waiting to happen, but I left out all that technical jargon when speaking w/ the property manager). They cleaned it up that day. A few years ago, I probably would have never said anything about it.

The other day, I recalled a conversation in my mind from several months ago that I had with a nurse that I work with who is about my age. She asked me if I was married (she herself is married) and I told her no. She asked if I were dating and I again said no. Then I told her I really don’t see myself as ever getting married. With a look of astonishment, she said something like, “Holly, you have to get married! You see the people who come into this hospital with no spouses, etc. They are alone and have nobody. You don’t want to end up like that.” I didn’t say much at the time but it did make me feel a little down at the time. I suppose I could get involved in a relationship just for the sake of getting involved and having someone there for me and showing the world that I am in their eyes “normal,” but I don’t want that, at least not now. For now, I am the patient with no spouse and no kids – and I am okay with that, today anyway.

I’m not real sure why I’ve written this blog tonight. I suppose, maybe just to get some things off my mind. My aunt has been in the hospital for a really long time now following a stroke. I have not gone to see her ever since the stroke and she has been in a hospital that is literally only a few minutes from where I work. Today I was told they are talking about putting her on hospice as she now has heart failure. I haven’t been to visit her all this time because, I think, in my mind I feel like maybe she will get better and then maybe I won’t have to deal with a tragedy in my personal life like I do day in and day out, Mondays through Fridays, at my job. Selfish, I know. Life just isn’t very simple.

Maybe I’ll go see her this week…

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Prayer and Opportunity

This week I watched the movie, "Evan Almighty," with my family. Here is a quote from the film I really like:

God: Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

And that's that.

P.S. The picture above was taken at my mom and dad's house apprx. 4 years ago. Isn't it beautiful?

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Disturbing: Marine Throws Puppy Off Cliff

I originally watched this video on today. The Marine Corp. has apparently expelled the soldier that tossed the puppy. It disgusts me to think that even a dollar of our hard earned tax dollars are going to this idiot and, even more, that we put guns into the hands of crazy loons like this guy:

US Soldier throws puppy off cliff - Watch more free videos

Saturday, May 24, 2008


I work in a fast-paced, hospital environment. In hospitals, death is around every corner at any minute – whether it be looming over a patient in the ICU, or hovering over you yourself, unbeknownst to you. So far, I can recall a few occasions where I have actually spoken with a patient and then sometime later the patient had either suddenly, or expectedly, died for whatever reason. In the hospital, it is never easy to confront the issue of death but, when it does occur, one employed there is expected to resume their duties and continue caring for those whom are still living that day. There are constant reminders of life’s fragility, at a fast pace, whether we want to be reminded or not. Some of us push aside these reminders, while others dwell upon them as they lay in bed at night.

Earlier this week, I learned one of my coworkers and friends passed away. After work on Tuesday, she walked into her home, told her husband she wasn’t feeling well, and then had a massive heart attack and died instantly. I had been up on one of my units, multitasking on several cases at once, when one of my coworkers came up and told me the terrible news. I had about five minutes to process it before I had to return pages, answer phone calls, talk to patients’ family members, etc. In a seemingly conditioned manner, I did not give myself much time to process what had happened. Actually, it wasn’t until the end of the week before I was really able to do so.

As I set down at my desk late Friday and gathered all I would need to be on call Monday, Memorial Day, I looked up at the top shelf on my desk and noticed two figurines. My coworker had given these to me on two different occasions over the past few months. One was an angel and the other a devil. She had taken them both off of her desk during times when I sat and visited with her in her office and said, “Here you go. I want you to have this.” She was always giving me, and others, random little things like that – a thoughtful and selfless person who truly cared for the well-being of others.

I’ve thought off and on about seeing her on Tuesday, only a short time before she was to leave this earth. My coworker and I were eating lunch in the conference room when she knocked on the door to notify my coworker that a patient’s family member was outside the door needing to speak with him. She kept apologizing for interrupting our lunch and I simply told her it was no big deal. She looked perfectly healthy at that moment. I myself was all relaxed and carefree in that moment. Had I known she’d soon be in the ground, I would have panicked and, in the end, I would have said, “Thank you,” to her for all she was.

So, since I didn’t say it then, I can only say it now… “Thank you.”

Here It Is

This week's season finale of Grey's Anatomy was absolutely amazing! The episode was the most revealing of the season, with an array of shockers, deep-seated emotions, and much to be thankful for, all coming out into the open.

Here is the second to last song that was played in the finale, which I know many of you are wondering about. I love it! It's called, "The Quest," by Bryn Christopher:

Sunday, May 18, 2008

"Yes We Can"

A very popular video on YouTube: